How Leo Became a Man

So J's parents' house has been under remodeling construction for a while, as it was a pretty serious reno. The most recent job the workers have been tackling has been the chimneys. The week of Easter, there was an issue with them accidentally sealing a family of baby squirrels into the roof, and J's mom took a pair of garden shears to the soffit when she noticed a mama squirrel absolutely going...nuts. Out popped a baby squirrel, everyone was reunited and happy.

Flash forward to this past weekend. I was so nervous leaving one particularly anxious crazy dog at their house, because they weren't home when I had to drop them off. And the workers were there, working on the roof, AKA banging around hammering stuff and this caused Leo to, well, bark. He also almost gave one of the works a heart attack with his super loud manly dog bark, but we apologized for that and all was well. When I left, Leo, Mary and J's sister's dog were all barking playfully. I felt a little better.

I touched base with J's mom that day when she got home and she said, "Don't you give them one more thought this weekend!" So I decided not to. Until I woke up to a text message the next morning, that as previously posted, stated: "Carnage on the carpet! Leo killed a squirrel in the house -- I'm traumatized! I believe my actual response to this was not very lady like, but it was mostly just annoyance that Leo had done something so bat-brained like kill a squirrel in the yard and bring it into the house. But this is not what happened, friends! The story unfolded via text message.

The exact time line is unknown as J's mom was blow-drying her hair and didn't hear the commotion. But she guesses it went something like this: Leo was minding his own business, watching "Squirrel TV" (what they call it when the dogs sit in front of the back door watching nature in the backyard) when all of a sudden a SQUIRREL pops down through the chimney. We know there was a bit of a scuffle, an overturned side table, and just as soon as it began, it was

over. She walked out in the family room and saw Leo just shake-shake-shaking what she thought was a toy. Until he stopped and looked at her. She said the high-pitched shocked squeals she let out made Leo drop the dead beast immediately (very surprising to me) and she was able to corral him in another room.

One of the workers removed the "evidence" and by this time, Leo had been hailed a hero. Although it apparently made the other two dogs insanely jealous, as Leo walked around with a little more kick in his step the rest of the weekend. J's mom reassured us that the damage a squirrel would've done to the new wood floors, walls, furniture was well worth the shock of seeing my precious boy shaking that squirrel like it was his job. I just hope it wasn't the mama squirrel from before. I hope it was the crazed abusive ex-husband squirrel or something. Either way, he's earned himself what we consider in this house to be the highest honors. A new nickname, bestowed upon him from J's mom and dad.

Behold, Count Leo Kovsnowski, the Russian Squirrelinator.