On the eve of my birth...

It's interesting.  There's only one thing I want this year for my birthday:

PLEASE SOMEONE OFFER ME A JOB.

Preferably tomorrow.

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Update: I was offered a position yesterday.  Official title: 'Nanny to the most adorable baby boy ever.'  The one and only Ryan James, who just turned one on Saturday, which makes me think about the weekend I met him.  Turns out I suck at salary negotiations and I offered to pay his mama for letting me hang out with him.  Darn you, useless miles between us!  I'd be there first thing Monday morning, Winsteads.

Pictures from my phone

Over the years I've lost so many pictures from my phone due to sheer stupidity.  I never ever email pictures to myself *I just recently inherited J's BlackBerry, and before now it's always been too hard.*  So very much in need of some decompression time, I present to you my collection.  I call it, "Pictures from my phone: In random chronological order because I don't understand why you store them in random order, BlackBerry." 

Llamas in Napa.  Namely, Tina and Tina.  We were so captivated by these Llamas.

Two of my favorite guys.  My daddy and Ryan James Winstead.  Ryan was our youngest houseguest ever and stole the hearts of many.

A family of geese and...umm...baby geese (gooselings?) that live in the compound at work.  They do not have security badges, but don't think this lack of respect for security would work for you, because they won't even let some employees in the gates (Ha, Team Weymouth?).  The geese babies are bigger now, but I always love seeing them on my way into work.  Starts my day with a smile.

Finley Wald.  LEMonade and I had just picked her up from her pack's house upon our return to San Carlos from Napa.  Finley was exhausted and super sweet, and unbeknownst to us, had a pop-up-car-trunk-like wound on her pad.  Sick.

Mary.  Princess of the Seat of Power.  Mary trembles like a leaf during storms and the short stint of thunder yesterday was no exception.  I invited her into the "seat of power" (AKA what J called the middle seat in our "L-sofa" please-do-not-call-it-a-sectional), made her a fort of pillows and tied a long-sleeved tee shirt around her like a cape.  I've seen infomercials where you can buy a cape for your dog that is supposed to rid them of their fear of storms.  Turns out a 5 year old pink J. Crew tee has the same effect -- it worked!

My belt for LEMonade's wedding.  I finished the flowers yesterday and received approval; both from Bride and my fabric flower-making mentor Va Va Va Bloom. :)

Ahh these two.  I'm so angry at them right now.  Remember the need for decompression I mentioned earlier?  Wonder what that was about?  I'll give you a guess...it was because of these two.  If you need a refresher, I invite you to reread one of my previous posts entitled Houdini Soup, because they are full of hi-jinx.  None quite as disgusting as what I came home to today though.  

I'm warning you.  GROSSNESS ahead.  VERY NASTY THINGS in the scrolldown.

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Seriously, you should stop now if one of the following applies to you:

1) I'm eating oatmeal

2) I just finished eating oatmeal

3) I'm thinking about eating something in the near future

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Ok, sicko, proceed with caution...

Behold.  Dog puke.  Heaps and heaps of it.  Yeah.  It's basically just their breakfast and nothing more.  You can file this one under "reasons I hate being the first one home." I of course yelled "WHO DID THIS!?!?!" at them three or four times halfway expecting one of them to point sheepishly at the other.  No luck.  This must be like Fight Club with these two.  Only it's Puke Club.  I'm just thankful it wasn't Poop Club.  It was disgusting and it was everywhere.  And you can see how the perpetrator skillfully took special care NOT to get it on the easily cleanable wood floor.  Thank goodness for you, Spot Shot.  And my very stretched-thin p a t i e n c e.  

What?  I warned you it was nasty.  You still looked.

Fever!

One of my dear friends is pregnant and is due in May.  This means I have a legitimate reason to be shopping around in the baby section for a present.  The last time I did this J had to remind me that you buy clothes for the baby you're having...not have a baby to wear the clothes you want to buy.  I swear, his priorities are all wrong.

P.S. Guess whose hands these are!

On meeting Ryan James Winstead

I have a new love. His name is Ryan James. This is my first time holding him.
He's wearing the shark onesie I bought him before he was born.
This is a kid with a killer wardrobe.
The nannies loved picking out his tiny adorable ensembles.

He has the tiniest of wee tiny hands and fingers.
It amazed me to see how he was built "ready to go."
I couldn't get over how his palms looked just like mine do, and he's only 3 weeks old.
Babies are such a miracle.

His Nanny Jamie fell in love with him too. She has such a way with babies and children. Although she didn't like the sight of his umbilical cord, Nanny Jamie was a natural with Ryan.

We took some time out to play some wicked Guitar Hero, as well as singing on PopStar.
The Winsteads have an amazing basement theater
(please say it with a British accent... thee-uhh-tuhh).
We thought we rocked...the game did not.
Rowdy Dog fell in love with Nanny Jamie. He was her bestest furry friend.
Rowdy was grateful to have 2 animated dog lovers to pet him and love on him all weekend.
My college roomie and the first girl I met at SMSU.
I happen to think we're amazing.
I had to explain to him that although I can't see him every day, I will always think about him, and pray for him to grow healthy and strong and smart and sweet and good. I don't think he'll have a problem with any of those things. He was blessed with amazing parents. I can't wait to see you again, Baby Ryan, but when I do, prepare yourself for tons of kisses.

Birthdays and birth-days

Two special shout-outs:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNA! Joanna and I used to have joint birthdays because they're like what, 3 seconds apart? I wish I could be there to give you a red velvet cupcake my dear. Happy 27th to my favorite type 2 in the whole wide world. Joanna and I have known each other for 10 years. That officially makes me love her a little more if possible. Hope you have a wonderful weekend in Kansas City, Joj! If you read this, call me on your way home on Sunday, peach.

And...

I'M GOING TO SEE BABY RYAN AND HIS MAMA IN 15 DAYS. That being said, the all-caps part of it is pure excitement. Getting to kiss his sweet head, getting to hug his mama, getting to pat Rowdy on the head, and oh, forcing J-Dub to hug me = all things that excite me about going to Springfield. PLUS, and this is a huge plus, Jamie has agreed to drive me down. So we'll have a total of 6+ hours in the car to chit chat and think back on the first few times we took that trip together. I can't wait for that! Old memories and new memories, and boy have I been flooded with memories this past week. The first time I got to talk to Laura after she had Ryan, I couldn't help but think, "Wow, Laura's a mommy now," and also thinking about how we met**. And how she and John had their first "date" (it wasn't really a date) on our couch. And now they're married. With a baby. I think it means so much to me because she's my first friend who I've seen all the way through it. And soon, that'll be everyone I know. Laura's the first though, and for that, she'll always have an asterisk by her name. I just hope Nanny Jamie and Nanny Stacy (I'm totally thinking Nanny 911 here) can help out by cleaning, cooking, whatevering so that Laura can have a little nap and maybe a shower.

**The time we decided to up and drive to Kansas after a bad frat party and you played me a CD you'd burned and you said, "This dedicate this song to you," and all of a sudden at top-volume "BOMBS OVER BAGHDAD" came on and we laughed so hard we almost peed. (It wasn't the right song) Sewing a denim star patch on another pair of your bleach-stained jeans. What goes with juice, Snoop? The red pleather skirt that looked amazing on us. The Magic Bean...especially the night that crazy old many played us Bonnie Raitt and I truly discovered how much I loved every one of her songs. Swinging on the front porch of Jefferson House. Apparently doing The Robot at your wedding (as pictured above). Crying like a fool when you called me to tell me you'd gotten engaged. Crying like a fool when I had to say goodbye to you at your wedding. Crying like a fool looking at pictures of Ryan. Me love you long time, Laura. -the little redhead**

ketchup pt 2

i dont have long now before the frustration of typing on my phone kicks in and i quit, but here i go:

- since the great storm last wednesday, we havent had internet at home. nope! reference why im on my phone

- the great strom: hit as i was on my way home from the gym, trying to get ready for my bday dinner. no power. for SIXTEEN hours. 3PM-8AM. awful.

- my dear friend laura (babywinstead) gave birth to ryan james on friday. many squeals were had. hes absolutely amazing and i cant wait to meet him!

- since tonight is my birthday i think we r going out. but we're so old and tired i doubt itll be much. we celebrated my bday so much last week that theres nothing else to do!?

- i got so many fab voicemails today. :)

- more on the trip to the dog psychic later. must go rest my thumbs now...

Lallie Beth -- fashionable baby extraordinaire

I had such a wonderful day yesterday. I left work at 1 and met my dear friend Lex and her gorgeous 12 week old baby girl Lallie Beth for a shopping date. I wish I'd taken pictures...sigh. Little Lallie Beth is not only seriously adorable, but she was quite the lady, with only one small fuss session. But once mama taught me how to hold her to alleviate her gas pains, Lallie was just fine! It was so much fun pushing her bright red Mutsy around the mall, being Alexe's baby-pusher while she had some mommy shop time as I gladly ogled the sleeping baby.

After we parted ways, I of course gushed all night to J about how lovely Lallie Beth is, and how lucky Alexe' and Andy are. And how when the time comes (read: several several years from now) it's going to be so much fun to have one, too. One of the truly fantastic things about my boyfriend is that he shares my excitement for the future. There are no more "ifs." Only "whens."

One thing I regrettably did not get to do was buy some mini-me things for Lallie Beth before they had to go home. My first baby clothes shopping experience was in February, and whoa, I almost didn't make it out of there alive, because everything was too dang cute. The bumblebee onesie was the one that got me all choked up, and in J's words, "You don't have a baby to wear the clothes you want to buy, you buy clothes for the baby you already have." Sooo...I guess until that day comes, you buy clothes for the babies around you. And for me, that's Lallie Beth, Berkley, and the much-anticipated arrival of Baby Winstead.

Exactly what I want

Today is J's mom's birthday. Because he's a wonderful son, we "drove" his grandparents up to the condo his parents rented in Williamsburg to celebrate. So we picked them up, Gramps insisted on driving while being instructed by his street pilot "Tilly" as he's named it, and he told us all about how his kids don't think he should be driving anymore, but by golly, he's a good driver. Have I mentioned yet that J doesn't have one single dull person in his family? They're all as colorful as the rainbow that we saw today after the rain let up.

At one point throughout the day, every single person that was there pulled me aside and said, "You're a good sport for coming to these events," or "I'm surprised you didn't run away after last time we all got together!" or some sort of poking fun at themselves and my willingness to endure their FFF (forced family fun). I seriously fell in love with his family on Christmas day, but it's been sooo much fun getting to know them better, and vice versa. Grams let me borrow some books, and apparently my Berkley alarm (I was the first one to hear her when she woke up from her nap) won me points. We were invited to February's ski trip to Vail, as well as a concert with his sister this summer during the beach house week. I love them, and I can't wait for J to get to spend time with my family in June.

I think I've mentioned it before, but J's grandparents are 92 years old, celebrating their 70th anniversary this year. It's so wonderful and at the same time, hard to wrap your mind around. On the drive up, Grams put it into perspective when she told us a story about how she and Gramps dated in high school, and then he left for Harvard, and she went to William & Mary. In 1937, the year before they married, Gramps saw a new movie that just came out called "Snow White" and he just loved it, so he rode a bus down from Boston one weekend and took his gal to see it. She said that someone gave them a copy of Snow White on tape a few years back, and how they're going to take it with them on their anniversary cruise this year, and they'll watch it again then. It filled me with a feeling of just how important these first few weeks/months/years are, and how I'm really glad that I'm keeping track of memories now.

As we got closer to our destination, she told us a story about somewhere in Jamestown she and Gramps used to drive up to the lake to "watch the submarine races," and then said, "You remember that, don't you dear?" and I saw her give him a wink. And after a moment, Gramps said, "Justin, watching the submarine races is what we would call it when we'd go park up there to be alone."

H-2-uh-OH!

I've been meaning to write about my somewhat communistic views about pumping birth control into the water to prevent young teenagers from getting pregnant, but I haven't fully thought out my theory. But in light of a couple of today's top news stories about prescription drugs being found in tap water and China keeping its one child only policy, I thought I'd bring it up anyway.

So it goes like this: the government pumps birth control in the water*. The general public is "protected" from unwanted pregnancy**. When someone decides they want to have children, they apply just like they would apply for a job; they would fill out a form similar to a resume that would prove they are competant, able to care for another human being, have a savings account, and they would also provide a urine sample for drug testing. If they are approved, the government would supply them with a monthly supply of specially filtered water*** and this process would continue until after they conceive, give birth, etc.****

* Drinking, bathing, preparing food, and washing dishes would all be effective means of birth control.
** This ultra BC would be effective on males and females.
*** A regular Brita could not filter out BC, nor could boiling.
**** Please keep in mind I came up with this "theory" during a wine-induced discussion about how many young teenage females in my area drop out of school to have babies, thus continuing the cycle that their mother started.

Crazy theory, or far-fetched solution?

Baby Bowels and the Bouncing Bosom

My boyfriend's sister had a baby on Leap Day, so we drove up to spend the day with them yesterday (and in my case, meet his sister and bro-in-law for the first time as well). On her 8th day of life outside the womb, we got to meet beautiful baby Berkley, and boy oh boy was she amazing. Not only was she absolutely gorgeous, but it was pretty fantastic to see the man you love holding a teensy baby...and he was so captivated by her the whole day long. The only time the baby wasn't cradled in someone's arms was when we ate dinner, and ever time Berkley would make any noise in her baby bed, J would shout, "I'll check on her!" and run over and dote on her. It was the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

Berkley was so easy-going that J and I pretty much alternated holding her most of the day. Well, on my last turn holding her before we left, it was about 5 minutes after her dinner, and about 3 minutes after her most recent burping. J's sis asked me if I wouldn't mind holding Berkley "up" on my chest for awhile. I said sure...and it was really nice because she was snoozing away peacefully...only making a few precious noises ever few minutes...smelling delightfully soft and baby-esque. And then it happened.

During the middle of a story told by J's very animated father, Berkley channeled her uncle's trombone impression and let one rip! Let's just say this 8 pound angelic baby decided to impersonate a 45-year-old man who'd been at a chili cookoff all day. And she did it loudly and proudly. Loud enough so that J and I both laughed non-stop for about 10 minutes. I couldn't stop myself, but had to somehow get it under control for the sole fact that I had a sleeping baby on my bosom, and she was getting bounced all over the place due to my uncontrollable giggles. I'd pull it together finally and then start up again thinking about the tiny pink Dutch oven that Berkley had just made under that blanket. So needless to say, this tiny amazing baby stole our hearts...and appetites...

My response? "Well I guess I just bring out the best in people."