Suck it up

I've had it.  I'm sick and tired of my vacuum.  Living with wood-floors with two hairy beasts gets hard on a girl.  I swear, two days after a hard clean I will see hair-bunnies tumbling down the hallway and it's all I can do to not fly into a fit of rage.  I hate the hair tumbleweeds.

Last night while as I was in the middle of vacuuming the place, I shut off our crappo two-year old lost all its suction power dirt-pushing Bissell and proclaimed to J, "If I get a new job, I'm buying a new VACUUM!"  Not a new pair of shoes, not a cute new purse, not some more delicious antique mason jars...a cleaning device.  By golly, if there is a way to make housework enjoyable, or even worth its while (considering our current piece of junk usually hurls dog hair everywhere instead of taking car of the problem) then I want one.

So.  I'm open to suggestions.  I want this one, albeit its ridiculous pricetag.  Partly because it's called the Dyson Animal, and I think only a wild thing can tame this pet hair situation.  And I can imagine myself running down the hallway chasing after those pesky tumbleweeds, with an evil glimmer in my eye, screaming, "Buhuhahahaaa!"

[And it's purple.]

On the eve of my birth...

It's interesting.  There's only one thing I want this year for my birthday:

PLEASE SOMEONE OFFER ME A JOB.

Preferably tomorrow.

-----------------------------

Update: I was offered a position yesterday.  Official title: 'Nanny to the most adorable baby boy ever.'  The one and only Ryan James, who just turned one on Saturday, which makes me think about the weekend I met him.  Turns out I suck at salary negotiations and I offered to pay his mama for letting me hang out with him.  Darn you, useless miles between us!  I'd be there first thing Monday morning, Winsteads.

Dorks

In case anyone needs a cute picture of our dogs laying feet-together to make them smile, here you go.

My first wedding post

I have said at least three times this week that if I didn't have a wedding to be planning right now I would've lost my mind. I'm not going to air my work business right now but let's just say things are rocky to say the least. Hence, all the planning and crafting I've been busying myself with as I avoid reality and refuse to let myself think of awful things like paycuts, layoffs and unemployment.

Without further ado, I would love to share a few things with you.

First, behold my new best friends. Small brown birds. They are votive holders. For the next year of my life, all but maybe two of the 23 I bought will be living in what is becoming my wedding-craft-closet as I start pack-ratting away small trinkets intended to make a cameo at our nuptials. Two, yes, I think two will live somewhere I can see them. Perhaps on our baker's rack.

So there they are. Posing so sweetly next to J's passion flower on the balcony. I envision them sitting sweetly at the base of the centerpiece on each table at the reception. I also wonder how darling they'd look with a nice full bloom in the holder instead of a votive, especially since we'd be on the water. Windy, windy water.

Oh, did I mention they came from the DOLLAR STORE? Yes. Sometimes it pays to look past the Hannah Montana toothpaste and Shasta. But my love for browsing the aisles of the DS is another story entirely.

Next up, my first wedding craft job. The guest book. Behold.

Thanks to a hardback sketchbook from Michael's, a billion baby envelopes from Paper Source, some delicious fabric that no doubt is going to pop up in other projects, it is now complete. Well, not entirely. We left a few blank spots on some pages to paste in pictures of us. I have to say that this was a super fun craft, and not only was it cost effective, but I was very pleased with the outcome. And now it and its 180 ribbon-tied hang tag friends get to go into the abovementioned wedding-craft-closet. Our dining room can now return to it's normal function. Once I clean up "Craft Central Station" as I've been calling it the past week.

PS, If I haven't said it before, our palette is marigold, eggplant, sage and chocolate...in that order. It should be noted that the eggplant was J's suggestion. He picked the purple, y'all, not me. How did I get this lucky?

Worst question ever

"Please list the places you have lived in the last 10 years."

How many places is that for me? 9.

Smooth Operator

I was so naive.  I thought I knew everything there was to know about my fiance.  So wrong.

As I was making my work snack of celery + peanut butter, I came across something that caught me so off guard I felt woozy inside.  Something that reminded me of my childhood, when my mother staged a similar coup, and it caused a similar rift.  Something that in our nearly two years together has never been an issue.  But then again, why would it, until it shows its ugly face.

CRUNCHY peanut butter, J?  Really?

Reception Venue: Check

Behold. A few beauties we snapped on Thursday. We've got a wedding date and everything!

Golden Shower

Last night J took pity on his little stressed out gal and took me out to dinner.  I was in the bathroom reapplying some makeup and he decided to run the doggies down to the "pee tree" before we left.  We call it that because, well, it's a little tree in a patch of grass and it's an irresistible spot for them, as well as most of the other dogs in our 'hood.  There's a few seconds of sniffing, and then the business conducting and then we're done.  Plain and simple.

All was fine when they left.  But when they returned, I could hear J grumbling in the hallway and I'm not going to lie, there were a few curse words involved.  Next thing I know, the trio of man and beasts is in the bathroom with me.  The grumbling continues.  "Is everything ok?" I ask, putting my mascara away.

J threw the shower curtain open with such force that I knew everything was definitely not ok.  A split second later, Mary is in the tub.  Water is on.  And the face-washing begins.  "J, is everything ok?"  I ask again.

J turns around to look at me.  "NO!" he shouts, pointing a demeaning finger at Leo, who all the while has been standing sheepishly beside me with his leash still attached, watching the madness.  "HE PEED ON HER FACE!!!"

Anticipation of the 4th

I kicked bum at work last week and now I get the holiday weekend to actually relax.  Since J and I are still in serious budget mode we're taking things a little lower key than originally planned.

Original plans: 

- Going to Busch Gardens on Friday ($$)

- Going to check out wedding ring options ($$$$)

Scaled back budget plans:

- going to see a few of our venue choices tomorrow.  Hooray!  Hopefully we'll rule out a few or at least one will stand out to us as a winner.  Also, I have a tentative wedding date in mind...not going to share until I know more...for now it'll suffice to say it's the feast day of the patron saint of aviators, test takers and weak students.  Seriously, wikipedia?

- heading up to Moon, VA on Friday to see Granddaddy.  We're taking the dogs so you can expect hilarious pictures and stories.  Also hoping to get some canoe time in.

- a birthday party for a girlfriend with an 8 week old baby.  What's more fun than that?

- Finally spending some time together after almost 5 days and 4 nights apart.  Which believe me, seemed MUCH longer.  Side note: my mother now reads my blog.  She called me to tell me, "Stacy, you should not be writing about when you're at home all alone.  It's just not safe.  People can figure out where you live, and ..."  People, this is the reason why I get up in the middle of the night to check if my doors are locked!  My paranoid parents!