Proud to be an Awarican

This past weekend, my boyfriend and I had a Michael Moore Marathon. After he got over his shock of the fact I had never seen a MM documentary (except for Roger and Me, which was pretty much demanded of you in high school), we rented Bowling for Columbine and Sicko. Now, can I just say that about halfway through both of these movies, I just started feeling an icky feeling of un-American-ness?

Having grown up in a proudly Republican and military household, I practically came out of the womb knowing it's not an option to put your hand over your heart when you hear the Star-Spangled Banner...it's the law. So dealing with thoughts like, "Honey, let's move to France," didn't necessarily make me feel the warm red, white, and blue fuzzies. I started questioning why.

I think lately, something that's really been upsetting me is the amount of crazies that keep waking up and deciding, "Hmm, today I'm going to kill at least five or six other people before I blow my head off." Random acts of violence scare me more than just about anything in this life, you know. Just last night we were discussing the most recent mass shooting that occurred in a Wendy's. A Wendy's. Not an abortion clinic, not a church, not a court building, not the usual list of places that get ignorant and/or deranged people all fired up. This is both sickening and absolutely frightening to me.

Bowling for Columbine made me question which came first, the chicken or the mass shooting? Are these shootings the results of a previous shooting being covered in the media hoising the shooter into the public eye, or would they have happened anyway? I can't decide if they are happening at a more rapid pace, or if they are just making bigger headlines. One thing I did agree with Michael Moore about was that we as Americans are a fearful nation. We are afraid of everything and everyone, even our neighbors. My mother raised me to believe that if you left your driveway without locking your car doors, there was a fairly good chance the world would end before you reached your destination. I have been known to get up out of my bed in the middle of the night to check, for the third time, that my front door is locked. One can never have too many deadbolts.

I asked J if he thought it was better to be unaware of the constant stream of horrible headlines that the media sees as newsworthy thus reinforcing our fear, or if it's better to be educated about our surroundings even if they happen to be filled with the evil acts of evil people. He said, "I think it's better that you're aware. You're an aware American, and I think that's a good thing."

And while I do get some personal satisfaction of being able to keep up with current affairs, I can't help but wonder if instead of reading the news religiously everyday, if I got up and walked around outside and looked at all of the wondrous things in our surroundings that the Lord has provided for us...I just wonder if it help make one Awarican just a little less aware of her fears.