Why aren't you up the water spout where you belong?

So there we were, on the couch after dinner when J tells me it's time to go home. Before I could answer, he slowly says, "Don't...turn...around..." as he's staring at the wall behind me. I was a little confused, and my curiousity got the best of me, because after he got up to run to the bathroom, what did I do? I turned around. What did I see? THE LARGEST SPIDER IN THE WORLD. This is not a joke. It was black with yellow spots and was of the XL variety, at least the size of the palm of my hand. It had feet, and I'm pretty sure I saw toes. J killed it, but not before I let out a gut-wrenching scream/moan, hurled myself off the couch at light-speed, and refused to open my eyes for about 2 minutes as I stood on my tippy-toes to minimize the amount of surface area touching any sort of carpet. Oh.my.goodness. If he hadn't been over, I would've surely gone into cardiac arrest, and just died right there. He checked the rest of the room, under the couch cushions, behind all pillows, etc., but I still can't relax and all of the lights are now on. Moral of the story: when your boyfriend gives you simple instructions, heed them. And if you don't, bake him cookies to thank him for killing the beast that almost ate you whole. *Shudder*